dancing for pennies

so despite my unbrideled optimism after new years, it appears that this will not, in fact, be the best year ever.

after four interviews for two jobs, i currently have been hired for zero (0) of those positions. Highlights of the process include my third interview for the receptionist job at the national abortion federation, where their ceo kept me waiting for forty five minutes, and then spent the entirety of the interview alternately suggesting that the position was below me, and then asking me how much i wanted it. "no really, do you Love administrative work?"

oh yeah, i also liked the part where despite numerous phone calls and the aformentioned three interviews, they didn't even bother to call me and let me know that i didn't get the job. i guess that's just one of the perks of having hundreds of over educated and underemployed people desperatly competing for one shitty job. you don't have to be bothered with basic human decency.

it's gotten to the point that i've started to avoid talking to new people, cause when they ask me what i do for a living, i tear up and they get uncomfortable.

my other big plan for alternatives to a real job was to try and get a fellowship to go back to nicaragua and continue the research i did for my senior essay, during the lead up to their november presidential elections. i shopped the idea around to a couple of people at wesleyan, and they all kindly pointed out that nobody cares about nicaragua, and certainly wouldn't give me any money to write about it. so i can pretty firmly scratch that off of my list.



i went to the inauguration protests last week, which was nice. we marched from malcom x park near our house down 16th st to mcphereson square. I didn't stay to do the whole parade route thing (it was mindnumbingly boring and assnumbingly cold last time) but the parade was really nice. the sun was out and there were a lot of people, and i did a bunch of nice chanting. i think chanting is pretty underappreciated.

do you ever get disturbed by the ammount of times i use the word nice in these posts? it seems to be my only adjective anymore.

i also made an amazing pillow for our house. it has a robot embroidered on it. i am a pillow making genious.

rachel

what's the easiest way to make god laugh

so i thought i had the next couple of months figured out. i was just starting a pretty well paying long term temp job, training for a couple of weeks and then taking over at the end of the month. in the meantime i had two interviews, one for a jwj job and a phone interview for a receptionist position with the National Abortion Federation. No problem right? whatever happened i'd have a steady income for the next three months no matter what.

except of course that i came into my temp job in the afternoon on monday, having taken the morning off for my interviews, only to discover that Mary, the very pregnant half of the two person office i was starting at, was feeling seriously ill, and was leaving that moment until further notice, possibly until she had the baby. she was kind enough to take about four minutes to brief me on my responsibilities and then was out of the door and on to the doctors. I've done nothing since then, despite having a desk full of things she needs me to do, cause i don't know/remember how to do any of it. i come in at 8 and leave at 6 (with no lunch break, mind you, unless my boss takes a lunch break, because i can't leave him alone in the office because he can't answer his own telephone) and feel overwhelmed and clueless the whole fucking day. and taking over this early also means that i can't schedule a second interview for the NAF job because of course i can't leave the office. same goes for therapy, thanks to my shrink's 8-5 m-f schedule. great.

oh yeah, and the whole reason i took this job was because i was told it was three months, except now it seems like it is going to be a month and a half, tops, because the woman i'm covering for can't stand to stay out of the office any longer.

sweet.

remind me never to get my hopes up about anything again.

best. year. ever.

sorry i haven't been writing much recently. i've been working a number of temp jobs that actually expect me to "do things" instead of just surf the web. jesus what assholes.


so apparently 2005 is going to be a great year. or so says my friend sophie. that kind of optimism is really refreshing these days. and i'm begining to suspect that it may at least be tolerable, if not the best year ever. i went to my shrink yesterday after a three week hiatus, and i realized that the last three weeks haven't been so bad. ok, not counting the horrible horribleness of christmas. (i fucking hate christmas) there was a lot of general blueness, but no hysterical weeping or stomach churning anxiety. so that's nice. by this standard, i'm already ahead of last year, when rock bottom of my breakdown was january 2nd. not that i'm going to call myself cured and wait until next september when i begin this cycle again, but at least i'm not crying on my way to work as much.

speaking of work, i'm now begining a three month temp job with a lobbying firm that lobbies for a number of small interests, including a company that manufactures edges. it's a two person office, one of whom i've met and is having a baby and i'm going to replace. the titular head, however, is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a sweater. he is a sixty two year old world traveler/foodie/amature photographer whose office is filled with the most amazing personal collection of art i've ever seen. it's not big names or anything, just fantastic cutting edge contemporary prints, outsider art and sculpture and some international stuff. his assistant is totally baffled by how much i like it. he's also obsessed with signs. he takes pictures of weired signs all over the world, and has a bunch in his office. i can't wait to meet him. i feel like if i don't leave this job with a sugar daddy, i'm never going to get one.

heart
rachel